65. George Michael – ‘Freeek!’ (2002)

“You got yourself a big bed
You shoot off, take your time
In a house with a bitch and a mouse
And your Daddy’s plastic
How fantastic? Yeah

I’ll be your sexual freak of the week
I’ll be your inspiration brother
Yo, mama, can’t you see?
I’ll be your sexual freak of the week
I’ll be your educational lover
Your one fuck fantasy”

Written by George Michael

Produced by George Michael

Taken from the album Patience

Also released on 25

AUS #5, UK #7

When I was 12, ‘Freeek!’ was the heaviest, most intense, most overtly sexual song I had ever heard. I loved it so, so much, I taped it off the radio and BEGGED my parents to get me the CD single (which they wouldn’t, because, you know, I was 12). It still gives me eargasms today to hear that “beep-beep-beep” at the start and then to hear the beat slowly rise up and up and up… until it explodes out of the speakers.

I didn’t understand any of the sexual references back then and I hardly understand them now. “In a house with a bitch and a mouse”? “I think I need a re-booty”? I did understand that beat, though, and I understood that this was the greatest production I had heard up until that point. The music is so deep and lodges itself in your brain. ‘Freeek!’ is a song that you can’t turn off, you can’t turn away, it demands all of your attention. When George sings “Free chat, fuck that, get a little harder”, it’s impossible to ignore, for better or for worse.

One of the things that endeared me so heavily to ‘Freeek!’ was that fucking amazing video, in which we’re taken to a futuristic, expensive-looking new world where everyone is having sex all the time, including dogs, really obese people and siamese twins. It’s a world where people just EAT TOOTHPASTE and where George Michael is not just a singer but a robotic sex machine. I was obsessed with ‘Freeek!’ back then and I’m obsessed with it now, and though they wouldn’t buy me the single, my parents unknowingly bought me the single on a compilation album for Christmas that year. So ha.

I’ll leave you with the wisdom of George Michael:

“Come on kids
Don’t be scared
It’s a tits and ass world, you gotta be prepared”

Music video:

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