492. Kanye West featuring Syleena Johnson – ‘All Falls Down’ (2004)

“She had hair so long that it looked like weave
Then she cut it all off now she look like Eve”

Taken from the album The College Dropout

US #7, UK #10

Because he is generally seen as a massive wanker due to stage invasions and self-involved (if brilliant) albums like 808s & Heartbreak, it is often forgotten that The College Dropout was an album about the people, for the people. Filled with real life stories of the middle class and the ghetto in songs like ‘We Don’t Care’, ‘Spaceship’ and ‘The New Workout Plan’, not to mention singles like ‘Through The Wire’ that took experiences from Kanye’s life and actually endeared us to him. It’s easy to forget what made us identify with Kanye, but one listen to the majestic ‘All Falls Down’, one of the social consciousness tracks, and it’s all coming back to you like Celine Dion shrieking in a white nightie.

A Lauryn Hill sample was used for the track, except re-recorded by Syleena Johnson in a career-making guest appearance. Around it Kanye weaves a story of insecurity, in others and in himself. It’s about the feeling that we all must build up a shield and a persona to project to others, and what happens when it all falls down. The song comes with it’s fair share of humour – like the verse where every word ends in a variation or “urr”, then the girl who “can’t afford a car so she named her daughter Alexis”, and then to top it all off the classic couplet quoted above which never, ever gets old.

“The prettiest people do the ugliest things”, Kanye tells us in the second verse, in which he turns the insecurity from the fictional girl onto celebrities – particularly those in the hip-hop world – and himself. “Even if you in a Benz, you still a nigger” is one of the most powerful single lines from any song in the 2000s, encompassing a whole number of social problems and personal issues in just a few words. The year after this was released, Kanye would tell America that ”George Bush doesn’t care about black people” on national television – I bet he would have fallen off his chair if he knew the man to replace Bush as President would be an African-American. ‘All Falls Down’ is a modern classic, a landmark - critically applauded and narrowly beating ‘Jesus Walks’ as the biggest single from The College Dropout.

493. Kate Bush – ‘Wow’ (1978)

“Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Unbelievable!”

Taken from the album Lionheart

UK #14

Well you can’t deny the chorus is simple yet effective. ‘Wow’ is unbelivable, for Kate’s stellar vocals, the slightly jazzy seventies backing track and the rotating, spinning, infectious chorus. Like previous single ‘Hammer Horror’, this is about films and acting, joining ‘Wuthering Heights’ in a trilogy of early Kate Bush singles influenced by films.

‘Wow’ is really more about stage acting, including a possible little nod to gay actors (and her gay audience) in a part of the lyrics I’ll let you seek out (and decide) for yourself. There’s a classic little Kate moment in the chorus, too, after one of her “WOWWWWOWWWWOWWWWOWWW” cycles she does a little yelp, as if she’s so excited that she doesn’t just want to repeat the word “wow” a hundred times, she also needs to do a bit of a scream. Another time she goes “Wow. Wow.” in a more serious, deep tone of voice, as if she’s now very serious about how impressed she is. “Wow. Did you hear me? I mean it. Wow.”

It’s hilarious, really, but so, so good. Play this to a non-fan and they’ll piss themselves laughing, play it to a die-hard and we’ll wet ourselves with excitement. There’s this switch in Kate Bush fans brains that gets flipped, and anything that could be hilarious to a normal person, to us, becomes endearing, exciting, legendary. You might be intrigued to listen to ‘Wow’ and think, dear God, WHAT is this woman doing? But you too can see that this song is wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, unbelievable. Just flip the switch.

494. Bjork – ‘Sonnets/Unrealities XI’ (2004)

“Then I shall turn my face
And hear one bird
Sing terribly afar
In the lost lands”

Taken from the album Medulla

As much of an attention-grabbing statement Medulla was, it was also a showcase and a chance to show off Bjork’s voice. It was as if to say “Ha, look at this all you pretenders, my voice is so strong it doesn’t need instruments at all. Beat that.” and it worked, Medulla was a brilliant and shocking album. The best songs were almost completely unadorned, like ‘Sonnets/Unrealities XI’.

Almost entirely composed of Bjork’s unprocessed voice, with just a choir in the background to help with the drama, ‘Sonnets/Unrealities XI’ is a poem by E.E. Cummings called ‘It May Not Always Be So’ put to a melody. It is… just magic, really. There’s no other way I can put it. Voices so rarely do this, they so rarely just take you to another time and place (sit down, Donna Summer) where a whole story, a whole painting, a whole world is created through the notes and through the lyrics. Bjork is up there with the greatest female vocalists of all time. Ask me on a good day and she is the greatest female vocalist of all time.

The lyrics make little sense to me. I write music-less lyrics myself all the time so what I do is basically poetry, but I write them in the structure of pop songs – actual real poetry often means very little to me. I can understand that it is powerful but it takes music for me to appreciate it. If you had shown me ‘It May Not Always Be So’ I would have enjoyed it for a minute and moved on. But sometimes I listen to ‘Sonnets/Unrealities XI’ on repeat. What is the difference? The jealousy in Bjork’s voice, the way she weaves the tale and injects life into it. It is a must hear experience, and coming in at exactly two minutes, a surprisingly essential part of the album. I couldn’t imagine Medulla without it, and it helped me appreciate the genius of both artists involved in it.

495. New Order – ‘Touched By The Hand Of God’ (1987)

“Never knew it… but of course I was”

Taken from the album Salvation!: Original Soundtrack

AUS #15, UK #20

Songs about masturbation – or even songs rumoured to be about masturbation – are a genre unto themselves. An aura of the forbidden surrounds them, especially when they’re done subtly, and especially if you’re not sure whether they actually are about what they sound like they’re about. Pink’s ‘Fingers’ or Cyndi Lauper’s ‘She Bop’ are pretty obvious, but songs like ‘Touched By The Hand Of God’ are open to interpretation.

Let’s have a squiz through the lyrics. They describe an encounter “by the ocean”, and then the narrator is suddenly alone with his thoughts that you can’t take away from him. The “illusions” he creates “will come to you someday” – wishful thinking that one day the object of his affections with return the feelings? In a later verse the narrator wakes up desperate, and it doesn’t take much to guess what they’re desperate for. And then the chorus: “I was touched by the hand of God, never knew it but of course I was”. Some schools of thought will tell you God is within yourself, meaning when you are touched by the hand of God you are touched by… yourself. Madonna put it a different way in ‘Secret’: “Happiness lies in your own hand”.

Even if I’m totally wrong, the song itself is endlessly catchy, well produced and expertly delivered. It’s mysterious, a little bit desperate and a little bit sinister. The chorus is almost whispered, adding to the feeling that there is something forbidden about ‘Touched By The Hand Of God’, that for whatever reason, we shouldn’t be listening to it. But how can I be shamed into stopping when it feels this good?

496. Pet Shop Boys – ‘Suburbia’ (1986)

“Let’s take a ride and run with the dogs tonight
In suburbia”

Taken from the album Please

UK #8, US #70

Possibly the greatest example of the Pet Shop Boys’ incredible knack for songs that explore the culture of the everyman, ‘Suburbia’ is a surprising and dramatic single that shows how mature the duo were even in their early years, both musically and lyrically. The soaring chorus melody of ‘Suburbia’ is the stuff of legend, somehow evoking the exact feeling and culture of the suburban life, the drama and the boredom in equal measures.

The song is filled with sound effects like dogs barking and police sirens and paints a vivid picture in the lyrics. Neil & Chris might have an image that portrays them as haughty intellectuals but they have an intimate knowledge of the struggles of the middle class, most effectively expressed in the middle eight’s furious repetition of the line “I only wanted something else to do but hang around”.

‘Suburbia’ is probably best experienced in the Full Horror Mix, available on 1986’s landmark remix album Disco. Running for almost nine minutes, it leaves no aspect of the song undiscovered, taking it’s time to explore the landscape of the music and bring out the emotion – or the deliberate lack of it. Coupled with the B-side ‘Paninaro’, which is one of the rare B-sides actually outshines the A, both songs on the single were a detailed look at two vastly different sides of youth culture. Pet Shop Boys understand that pop music is not only a part of culture but a reflection of it, and nowhere did they reflect more poignantly than on ‘Suburbia’.

497. Madonna – ‘Dress You Up’ (1984)

“Gonna dress you up in my love
All over, all over, from your head down to your toes”

Taken from the album Like A Virgin

US #5, UK #5, AUS #5

Fifth single from Like A Virgin, hits number five in the US, Britain and Australia, released as a single in 1985. Conspiracy, or geeky chart coincidence? Well obviously it’s the latter, and thankfully that isn’t the most interesting thing about ‘Dress You Up’ by far. One of her greatest early singles, ‘Dress You Up’ evokes images of Virgin Tour Madonna, at her most iconic as a teen idol, in the first flush of her huge fame. All bangles and bows in the hair and hideous, hideous jackets, ‘Dress You Up’ is, in a way, more definitively eighties than ‘Like A Virgin’, ‘Material Girl’ or ‘Holiday’.

Starting with four bangs of a drum (a couple of which were clumsily cut out when ‘Dress You Up’ opened disc two of last year’s collection Celebration) and then launching in to a shiny, shimmering melody and guitar line reminiscent of ‘Lucky Star’, the lyric use a clothing metaphor exploding into a half-sung half-yelped chorus of “Gonna dress you up in my love!”, complete with girl-group backing vocals and Madonna’s trademark early vocals – earnest and strained, yet never grating. Amazing guitar solo from Nile Rodgers in there as well.

‘Dress You Up’ has been a constant fan favourite for years since it’s release, being ignored on original greatest hits The Immaculate Collection but then given the important opening slot for one of the discs on the recent Celebration, and even making the cut down one-disc version’s tracklist, signifying that it is finally get the respect it deserves, even if its inclusion on the one-disc took up space that could have been used for more iconic hits – but let’s face it, the Celebration tracklisting was bullshit anyway. ‘Dress You Up’ also influenced music censorship: the fairly tame lyrics were considered bad enough to be included in Tipper Gore’s Filthy Fifteen list, a collection of recent singles she found vulgar and inappropriate, which led to the Parental Advisory sticker. The mind boggles as to why they didn’t include ‘Like A Virgin’ instead, but it doesn’t really matter because the Filthy Fifteen was also bullshit. Thank goodness the song was good enough to survive that controversy.

498. No Doubt – ‘Don’t Speak’ (1995)

“Our memories, well they can be inviting
But some are altogether mighty frightening”

Taken from the album Tragic Kingdom

UK #1, AUS #1

First of all this is generally counted as an unofficial US number one as well, it spent 16 weeks at the top of the airplay chart but was unable to chart on the Billboard Hot 100 as it did not have the required physical single released. ‘Don’t Speak’ was extremely popular in from ‘95 to ‘97, fuelling the massive sales of Tragic Kingdom and establishing No Doubt as one of the most widespread and iconic acts of the nineties.

That mourning guitar that opens the song is the backbone of the song, and of course Gwen’s emotional vocals and radio-friendly melody are the aspects that make it above and beyond your average boring mid-nineties pop-rock hit. “You and me – I can see us dying, are we?” The odd phrasing in much of ‘Don’t Speak’s lyrics only adds to it’s charm. Gwen’s image at the time was bratty party girl, and ‘Don’t Speak’ is like the morning after the party where everyone was jumping around to ‘Just A Girl’. Those two huge hits from Tragic Kingdom showcased two sides to the band, and made it clear there was more than one dimension to No Doubt.

For a slightly different look at the power of ‘Don’t Speak’ it’s worth digging out the “alternate version” from the CD single released internationally. Stripped of almost everything but a violin and that guitar, Gwen’s voice is given a chance to shine. Often criticised as technically weak, it exudes so much emotion and personality that the quality of the notes are rendered completely irrelevant. Gwen Stefani is no Whitney Houston, but without that shining connection she had with the public, No Doubt would have failed, whether their front woman had world class vocals or not.

499. Cher – ‘Gypsys, Tramps & Thieves’ (1971)

“I was born in the wagon of a travelling show”

Taken from the album Gypsys, Tramps & Thieves

US #1, UK #4, AUS #5

Before ‘Believe’, ‘Gypsys, Tramps & Thieves’ was probably Cher’s best known and most loved song. Sure, ‘If I Could Turn Back Time’ was more notorious, but it would have been a different story without the video. ‘Gypsys, Tramps & Thieves’ connected with the public on a major scale, became as famous as the woman who sang it and became a modern American classic pop song. It is a defining song of the seventies, proof that Cher has a voice and a depth to her that most disco divas would sell their jumpsuit for, and simply one of her absolute greatest hits.

Because it’s so famous and has been parodied so much, it is easy to forget that the story told is like a little film, a vicious cycle invoving a young girl who picks up a boy with her roaming family, including a mother who dances for money and quite possibly is implied in the lyrics to be a prostitute. The girl falls pregnant to the boy, who subsequently flees, and the cycle begins. The little girl is born in the wagon of a travelling show…

The song flies past so quickly in just two and a half minutes that at first the story doesn’t sink in, so it’s helpful that the predictably gypsy-influenced beats and huge, dramatic chorus will stick in your mind for ages. Like an old black and white film, it exudes old-world drama and is a warning tale, accentuated by Cher’s knowing, far-beyond-her-years vocal performance. All of this adds up to something really significant and special, and it was her first solo number one – it was official, Cher was here to stay and could survive on her own just fine.

500. Timbaland featuring Nelly Furtado & Justin Timberlake – ‘Give It To Me’ (2007)

“We missed you on the charts last week
Damn, that’s right, you wasn’t there”

Taken from the album Shock Value

US #1, UK #1, AUS #16

Something tells me Fergie, Scott Storch and Prince had a bad day when ‘Give It To Me’ first hit the airwaves. Almost certainly the targets of three cocky verses from each one of the stars in this song, no matter whose side you choose to be on (for the record I’m Team Nelly, Team Timbaland and Team Prince, and also Team This Is So 2007), you cannot deny this is an effective single with a laid back killer hook and was an easy number one in the US and the UK.

So Nelly opens the song by having a go at Fergie, I believe. They had some feud that must have passed me by – this song is really all about Nelly’s chorus and the way she says “my style is ri-dick-dick-dick-you-luss-you-luss”. Timbaland then takes over and gives Scott Storch a talking to – as did Christina Aguilera on 2006’s ‘F.U.S.S.’, which stood for Fuck You Scott Storch. Bad times for him. “I’m a real producer, and you just a piano man” – ouch. Justin then has a go at Prince on his verse, which is just ridiculous as without Prince, Justin wouldn’t exist. However I must admit Justin has some great lines (“If sexy never left then why is everybody on my shit? Don’t hate on me just because you didn’t come up with it”) and his verse is probably the best out of the three. Apparently there’s rumours he’s blasting Janet Jackson on the track, and if that’s the case he can piss right off.

The beat glides and grinds underneath the vocals and the song is greater than the sum of it’s parts. It works as a party track, as a diss song, on the radio, at home. It’s a triumph for these three, it solidified their position as the absolute royalty of pop music in 2006 and 2007. None of them were able to keep it up for much longer, but at least up until ‘Give It To Me’, they were on top of the world.

501. Elvis Presley – ‘In The Ghetto’ (1969)

“Take a look at you and me
Are we too blind to see?
Do we simply turn our heads and look the other way?”

Taken from the album The King

UK #2, US #3

The first time mega-super-icon-star-legend Elvis Presley really made a political statement, ‘In The Ghetto’ was a brave thing to do and at the same time restrained enough to be a surefire hit. For a pop star thus far known mostly for love songs to branch out was an important moment, and ‘In The Ghetto’ has become one of his most enduring and beloved singles.

Structured simply with three verses detailing the life and death of a boy who was born, you guessed it, in the ghetto, the song evokes powerful imagery and is a bit like an audio film in the way it puts forward it’s narrative. Elvis gives a great vocal performance, sounding much more involved and emotional than in his early love songs, which I mostly find to be non-events. He was at his best when he took risks.

Two covers stand out for me. The first is Dolly Parton’s version from around the same time, which is basically a carbon copy except with Dolly’s amazing voice instead of Elvis’ amazing voice – not a bad swap, but I’m afraid here there is no question that Elvis does the definitive version. The second is from 2007, when Lisa-Marie Presley turned the song into a duet with her father, ‘Unforgettable’-style. It was nice at the time, created to mark thirty years since his death, but it was anything but unforgettable. Thankfully, Elvis’ original will never be forgotten, an important single not only in his career but for “statement” songs in general.